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My Heart Is Finally Back To Me

My heart is finally back where it belongs. My heart no longer chases after you, it no longer skips a beat when someone says your name.

My heart no longer waits for your text or your call. It no longer thinks you’ll be able to save it or revive it. My heart no longer waits for you to beat – it now beats to its own rhythm, it beats to its own tune and it is learning to live without you.

My heart no longer wants your validation. It doesn’t associate love with you anymore. It doesn’t think you’re the most beautiful love story it has ever lived.

My heart is now writing its own story; following dreams, chasing rainbows, traveling to new places, finding new ways to breathe new life into it. My heart realized that there’s more to life than loving you, there’s more to life than waiting for you.

My heart was lost with you but now it finally found its real home – me. Because I gave you my heart expecting you to take care of it but you already have your heart and you had no room for both my heart and yours. My heart was lonely with you but now my heart is happy, it’s free, it’s healthy.

My heart no longer looks for you in a crowded room, it now looks for new faces, for new hearts, for new experiences and my heart now follows me, it doesn’t follow you anymore. It doesn’t want you to lead the way and it doesn’t want you to be in control.

My heart no longer wishes you could come back. My heart wants you to stay away because you break it every time you get closer. My heart doesn’t want to break anymore, my heart is mending itself and the only way for it to heal is to let you go.

My heart no longer thinks you’re a healer. My heart now knows you’re the one who shattered it and it will never give you that chance again.

Because my heart is not stupid as people say, my heart is not an idiot, my heart is not blind. My heart is real, it falls in love, it goes after those who make it smile, those who make it happy. My heart is forgiving and it sees the best in people but my heart also knows when to stop, when to turn around, when to leave those who no longer want it.

If my heart was stupid, it would’ve still been yours.

But my heart knows better, my heart is waiting for the best but until then, my heart will always be mine and you can’t try to claim it again because once my heart forgets you, it will never remember who you are or how you once made it feel. It will never remember how much it loved you.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

all the words i should have said

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